The ENIQMA

MOFO Tech or: naming gone wrong

The other day I received this magazine in the mail, unsolicited, of course. If you don't see the problem off hand I congratulate you on your moral standards but suggest a quick Google search ("what is a mofo") before reading on. Go ahead, I'll wait... I would explain it here but it would totally thrash my profanity rating so you'll have to take the detour.

After studying the mailing in curiosity and comprehending that it is not a publication on "badass" urban lifestyle I noticed that the publishers have simply chosen the first two letters of their names, MOrrison and FOerster, to compose the title. The magazine is in fact on technology trends.

Doubtlessly these two gentlemen have opened the floodgates for ironic comments and mockery. Even if I decided to file the coincidence and get on with it the question remains: why on earth didn't they check?

I have to assume that a lot of time and money goes in a magazine like this. After all, they created, produced and mailed it to a lot of people without receiving a single dollar in return (there are no ads in there except for self-promotion which is probably the whole point of the mailing). Regardless: how many people will throw it away taking it for something it is not? Or, worse: how many people will NOT throw it away initially because it sparked their curiosity (like mine) just to then conclude that these may not be the best people to do proper research?

There is art in names, and a funny twist can be all it takes to make an idea stick, but this is not it.

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

The Bloomberg Bank

No, sorry, this is not about Mayor Bloomberg per se. Nor about his politics. What it is about is his sense of calling, duty, humanity, or whatever else it is that makes him throw millions of his own money into a campaign that - if successful - will yield a job that can only be called a poor return on investment in monetary terms. The same goes for a number of American and international politicians whose intention is predominantely to follow their calling rather than making money.

Come to think of it, in exchange for a few years of immense responsibility these people are subjecting themselves to complete transparency of their personal lives, the lives of their families and relatives, they may also sentence their children to a life under the protection of bodyguards and public scrutiny. Not to mention the task of trying to govern something as resistant to governance as, say, New York City. They do have my admiration even if I don't always like what they are doing.

What would happen, I wonder, if someone found his or her calling in launching a bank that is driven by the same spirit? Not a governmental bank, of course, but a privately owned bank run by a group of people with a sense of responsibility for their country's wellbeing that goes beyond profits. No annual bonus for executives, a modest salary and whatever other perks the mayor of New York City gets. A bank that aims at being self sufficient without the need to satisfy their investors in any other way than in making their customers happy? How would they proceed? Would they work with their customers more to determine their needs, and advise them on sound financial planning rather than maximizing loan amounts? What would their fee structure look like? Would people pay extra for a bank like this? How would they treat their employees?

So what would happen if someone like Mayor Bloomberg, after he has exhausted all means for re-election, eventually retired and started a bank instead? Or any other wealthy enough individual?

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Marketing for Repairmen

Repair companies usually market their business by trying to be the first in the yellow pages. AAA or A1 used to be great names as they ensured you the top spot. I've heard of lawyers doing the same. Looking at our town's yellow pages the other day I noted that the level of desperation is increasing: four A's for one of the companies listed for appliance repairs. I didn't chose them. Just because of this.

All repair companies are expected to fix whatever is broken, to offer a guarantee for their work, be properly registered and insured. No point trying to set yourself apart in this area in your advertisements. So what IS it that customers are looking for? Well, how about fixed appointments? The repair company my wife called the other day announced that they would come "between 8 and 12" the following day. The man showed up at eight which was great, but he could have shown up at 11:45. A whole morning potentially wasted sitting there waiting for the repairman for most of us. I've never waited long at my dentist's and I wonder why repairmen can't do the same. It would win me over as a customer right away.

Next, leave something behind. People call repairmen when something is broken, which hopefully only happens every couple of years. Result: you're trying to remember whom you called last time. Our repairman had correctly spotted the issue, so he offered us a sticker with his name and phone number on it. That's right, he offered it, he didn't stick it someplace in our kitchen as he probably also senses that people might not appreciate it. Alas, that's a sticker prone to be thrown away. So how about a fridge magnet? An Outlook V-Card? I have wondered many times why people don't make use of V-Cards as marketing tools. A phone call half a year later, just to see if everything is fine? An oven mitt or ice cube scoop?

So if you are a repairman, don't even think of renaming your business to AAAAA. It's pointless. Give your customers what they want which is to spend the least amount of time waiting for you, and give them something to remember you. The good work has to be there, too, but it is expected, anyway.

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Hidden Champions

Just reading up on some older issues of "Cicero", a political magazine from Germany. Hermann Simon, management consultant and book author, contributed an article back in June on Germany's hidden champions.

Small companies that, for example, provide the glue that holds together 80% of the world's smart cards and 50% of cellphones; they produce 80% of all fish processing equipment in the world; 100% of large stage courtains for concert and opera halls, feathers for beddings, ... all in all there are 1,200 such small companies in Germany alone that hold the top spots in their niche markets.

What is it that makes them so successful?  I am summarizing Hermann Simon by translating and commeting freely.

What is it they do differently from large companies? Answer: almost everything.

1. The hidden champions are ambitious and persistent. They stay focused on their single most important goal, even if it takes decades.
2. They do not outsource: All core competencies remain under their control.
3. They go global. Many of these small companies are present in their worldwide key markets.
4. They spend significantly more on research and development than large corporations (6% vs. 3%).
5. They register 5 times more patents (30 vs 6) per 1,000 employees at a cost of 1/5 of what the corporations pay (EUR 0.5M vs. EUR 2.7M).
6. Between 25 - 50% of all employees are in direct contact with customers (vs. 5-10% in large corporations).
7. Fluctuation is 3 times less (2.7% vs. 7.3%) - I would expect this to be different in the U.S.
8. Executives stay in charge for an average of 20 years - DAX listed companies' executives serve 5 years on average (the DAX being the German equivalent of the Dow Jones Index).
9. The hidden champions were prepared for the economic downturn and see it as an opportunity, not as a threat.
10. And finally they were asked: what do YOU think is the secret of your success? Answer: it is the sum of many little things. The result of daily and seemingly miniscule improvements that in the end provide an edge.

For once this would contradict Seth Godin who in a recent blog mused about why Amazon would buy Zappo's, a shoe company, at a price of $US 800M when they already had shoes on offer. He list the elements of Zappo's culture and concludes "These things are available to organizations of every size. If you want them and choose to work for them."

After reading the above article I strongly feel Seth is off. If an organization grows larger it will almost inevitably lose it's personality. Shareholders, bean counters, lawyers and unions take over, and that's the end of it. My take: Amazon bought a brand and it's image and it will bulldoze Zappo's culture. Small is indeed the new big, and the new form of art will be to remain small instead of getting bulldozed.

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Too little - too late

Stephen Richardson, a fellow Triiibster, gave me permission to quote one of his recent blogs which did actually strike me, too - so true, and such an easy advice to follow. Here is his blog "Too little - too late":

When a company is in its final days of life support… and it rapidly approaches the white light of extinction… suddenly, we see it use creative ways to get low-cost, high-impact attention. Usually by then, however, it’s not the retailers, but the vultures (better known as professional liquidators) who have already swooped down to preside over the feeding of the last remains.

One question immediately comes to my mind… “What took you so long?” "Why didn’t you do something sooner to capture my attention… and convince me to patronize you when you still had a chance?"

My challenge for you survivors still out there is to pretend… Pretend that time is running out… Pretend that if you don’t get Creative… Innovative… Passionate… and Value-driven right now… your company will not survive.

What will you do differently this week to get the results you need to Succeed (not just survive)?

If you liked Stephen's blog as much as I did please check out his website at: http://www.stephenvrichardson.blogspot.com/

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Marketing to the idle mind

Some people, as you will have experienced by yourself, just enjoy discussing their private lives in public over cell phones, preferrably in checkout lines at the grocery store, waiting areas and such, all of which admittedly invite phone calls as people are bored.

This one, however, turns the whole "experience" upside down: recently at the post office half a dozen people were waiting in line in front of the single open service counter (sigh...). A lady decides to make a cellphone call (of course) and the rest of us are forced to join the fun - even me despite of the iPod I had preemptively brought along; she was standing right in front of me. Remarkably, the call takes a turn with the lady telling her friend about a handyman she just had such a great experience with. The guy was on time, did an incredible job (exterior painting, I believe) at a much lower price than quoted by a local company, and he even came back to fix some minor issues he had overlooked. Alas, she didn't have the phone number on her so she'd have to call back and give it to her.

Amazingly, the first person in line who had interacted with the clerk at the service desk while this monologue took place then walks up to the lady and asks if he, too, might have the phone number of this remarkable handyman (nobody focuses anymore on what they are doing). And before you know it, two other people waiting in line turn around and ask her for the same thing. The lady, apologetically, collects all three phone numbers and promises to call them back.

Let's assume that this episode was purely coincidental. Yet: what a hell of a marketing opportunity!! Not only did these people approach HER and gave her permission to call them. They also had a feeling of having discovered a really great and inexpensive service provider who came with a "neutral" endorsement by a happy customer.

What if anyone perfected this as a marketing strategy? She would have walked out of this post office with three sales in her pocket, enough to make a handyman happy for months. What other products or services would be suited for this kind of approach? Anything local, I should think. Is anyone actually doing this already?

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Marketing by Invitation

It's the brother of permission marketing: marketing to the bored. It's the last 20 minutes on a plane before landing when you have read the newspaper you brought along, when the entertainment system is turned off and when you are no longer permitted to listen to your iPod. Out comes the "Sky Mall" catalog, a collection of things you didn't know existed, things you lived well without for many years, things that miraculously look very interesting at this moment.

It's the cereal box on the breakfast table, the banner ads inside of a subway car. New ideas have evolved recently, such as ads on headrest covers in planes. I saw this first in China although this is not my picture. Thanks to whoever took it. While airlines in the USA got rid of them to save cost the Chinese turned them into profit centers. The world is truly upside down right now. While I began to wonder what would be next I saw ads on the bottom of my tray at airport security. While this idea seems to be totally on target I think it is not. The first thing people do is slam their belongings into the tray so visibility is minimal. Furthermore, shoes are dirty and many items will scrape the surface so my guess would be that these ads look crappy in no time. What is most: it is a "stress" situation, not a "bored" one. People are not relaxed so the messages are likely to remain unnoticed.

Once you start googling the topic you will come across advertising messages on your tray table, both inside and out. Marketers seem to have discovered airline passengers as an "ultra bored" audience. Here are some ideas: how about free food? Something delicious when no one expects it? "This service was sponsored by..."? In Europe I'd suggest free cocktails for everyone but that won't "fly" here.

Where else? How about doctor's waiting rooms? I don't usually wait long but I never find any cool magazines on the table, just "People Magazine", some Golf mags, interior design and whatever else it is doctors read. Get it? They put out magazines that THEY like. Rather than thinking about their audience, allowing some sponsors in and make some extra money (not that they needed it).

Subways and trains are quite exploited already, and so are banners in front of the Lincoln Tunnel here in New York where reportedly companies pay north of a million bucks per month for their ads.

So my question is: when and where do you have to kill time every day? What are you staring at unintentionally? Ah - some might say: "my teacher" but let's discount this thought for now. Mind you, students, Pepsi, Frito Lay and Co. have been after your allowance for years. So what else comes to mind?

Send me your comments if you have any ideas.

Thanks, and have a great Sunday,

Bodo

Change or Die

It is not exactly a secret that I am a fan of Seth Godin and his daily blogs. Some of them I disagree with, most of them are really good, and a couple of times a year he produces a real "keeper" that deserves to be carved in stone. 

This one is actually for a tombstone. The current crisis is bad enough but how some people respond to it is truly worrying. Most Americans have subscribed to a pledge for "change" while in reality they mean: "change back to the status quo we had before". The pathetic responses of both the U.S. auto industry and certain investment banks in their never-ending greed are shocking examples of that. I recently did some work for an organization that - after decades of celebrating themselves - find themselves marginalized, but are reluctant to acknowledge it, perhaps hoping that it will all be turn (back) to where it was before.

I can't find better words than Seth on the issue so I'll just encourage you to read the above blog. Bottom line is: it's not coming back, ever. So change or die.

Thanks for your time,

Bodo

Exceeding Expectations

"It is our goal to exceed your expectations at all times" is today's customer service mantra, and it turns me off every time I hear it. My garage used to do it, and they went as far as to affix a sticker to each service bill for my car to the effect that if I was called by their factory and if I felt I could not answer all questions with "exceeded expectations" I should PLEASE first talk to them - apparently there were repercussions. eBay, I just learned, is doing the same to their best customers, the "power sellers" by asking customers to rate their performance beyond the general feedback. If they can't achieve the highest rating (which is "exceeded expectations") then their fees will go up.

What this does is to coerce us customers into giving feedback ratings that are inaccurate. What is more: the whole notion to exceed my expectations at all times as a goal is irrelevant. Dear Amazons, eBays, car dealers or whoever you are please know: you don't have to.

When I go to a website to book a flight, buy a book or whatever then what makes me happy is if you are easy to deal with, have a website that is intuitive and responsive, and deliver exactly what I want on the date we agreed upon. No nonsense. The same applies to any other business: if every supermarket customer got a free shoeshine upon leaving the store to "exceed expectations" all this would do is slow me down on my way to my next agenda item. Keeping your store clean, well organized and free from acoustic spamming meets my expectations. How many stores fail in accomplishing even that? How many businesses do NOT put you on hold when you call them?

Where it does matter to exceed expectations is when something goes wrong, or when your customer is specifically interested in something that's not "on the menu". How easy do you make it for your customer to return an item? Get support on a product? Find a product that's not in store? Solve the immediate problem quickly by offering an alternative solution while the item is fixed? Remove anxiety instead of adding to it? All major companies claim that this is who they are, but very few actually live up to their standards when challenged - as we all know.

What makes the difference is often the human factor. It's the Lufthansa staff getting out of their way to put my wife and me on a plane home after British Airways let us down royally; it's Newegg not only accepting my request for return of an erroneously purchased item but also sending me a shipping label, and paying for my return shipment... add your own examples and notice how many times a human being actually put her or his name underneath the message. Committed employees will make customers happy, "involved" employees will chicken out and hide behind their operating procedures. If you don't know the distinction (it's an old joke, I know): it's like bacon and egg. The chicken is involved in making the egg, but the pig is committed to making the bacon.

Some of you know that I am traveling in Asia right now. I had half a day to kill in Seoul yesterday prior to the arrival of my colleagues. The main contact at the company we are visiting had kindly offered to take me to Kukkiwon, the headquarter of the World Taekwondo Federation. It was an absolutely unforgettable experience, and afterwards he suggested to take me to an area of traditional Korean stores and restaurants. I told him kindly that while I was touched by his hospitality I was sure he had more important things to do this day than to be my tour guide, and that it would be perfectly ok if he left me to my own devices if he had to work. His answer? "You are here, so you are most important." We haven't bought a single gram of product from his company yet (he is an employee of a large corporation), but I already know that these are people we will be able to rely on. They will exceed expectations at the right time.

Thanks for stopping by. See you next week (from China),

Bodo